Calling in : how to start making change with those you'd rather cancel

Ross, Loretta J., 1953-2025

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Summary

In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother who'd had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at Washington, DC's Rape Crisis Center when she got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. But instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards, a choice that set her on the path towards developing a philosophy that would come to guide her whole career: rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountable - but do so with love. Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir - because the power of Loretta Ross's message comes from who she is and what she's lived through. She's a black woman who's deprogrammed White supremacists, a survivor who's taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in - inviting them into conversation instead of conflict by focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishment - is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room. Calling In is a practical new solution anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.